We are blowing about like magnificent seeds,
falling apart and drifting away maddengly in huffle puff gusts
It is not a path we are walking
It is a current
and we are flying on the bristles
our arms and legs
watermelon and almond butter
we are stripped away and we take flight
It's so funny
They are going to celebrate Banned book week by
writing controversial short stories
or something like that
I am going to write a story
about a young boy and his grandfather in a functioning monogamous relationship
without a hint of irony. It's going to be so fucking banned.
Let's play a game called
Find the Tooth
Racoons hold onto shiny objects
even at their peril
even to sacrifice their freedom
What is my shiny object?
Pills like baby teeth
I break them apart
I am weaning.
I can't do it
I tell Ryan
and he drops his bike, leans it against the truck
Walks towards me
and puts his hands on my shoulders
tells me
"Do what you want
I love will love you no matter what
I don't see you as a person on medication
Don't do anything you're not ready for"
So I'm breaking my pills in half.
Half of 20mg
Half of 10mg
5 mg a day.
I used to go without. Give myself a month.
Last winter, my eye twitched
and I swooned in headaches that felt like heat waves.
And I had just forogotten to take them
And I slept in
My routine was distrupted.
I did it all wrong.
we fall to save ourselves
we climb to save ourselves
we are always looking to be saved
Salvation
I start splitting my pills in half after Ryan and slept that night in the daisy field.
After we woke up in the hotsprings
After we woke up on the truck
After breakfast
After I dropped him in the forest by the creek
I collected mountain flowers
in a rusty tin can I found in a firepit
I find a dead pigeon by the side of the road and pick it up for Alicia Renner to pluck
The pigeons mate was nearby in mourning when I scooped it up
and I felt terrible as I drove away
I left Ryan in the woods and starting splitting my pills in half
I pick up a hitchhiker.
She's headed to the desert.
Born in Pheonix she was needing desert medicine. Living in Eugene she packed nothing, took the bus as far as she could to Rainbow and I picked her up next to the gas station.
There's another of us that's trying to be saved.
She's hanging out with a scuzzball who's doing heroin
Too frequently.
We are worried she is doing heroin.
Everyone is concerned.
But no one knows that facts
so we can't really do anything about it.
She just got out of a relatioship.
A long one, like 3 years.
The old one, the ex, is trying to save her
but he can't get close anymore
and he is confused
and worried
and feels powerless
and he is becoming beautiful
in a way no one ever saw coming.
And she is becoming sick.
And we want to save her
but
no one knows the facts
so we can't really do anything about it,
Kryon and I are talking about angels and demons
The boy who stabbed himself at the chest at the open mic at Strictly Organic was a friend of his
Kyrin explained he had been doing a lot of these hallucineginic drugs that had been coming through town
His friend would wake up from black outs having done ...
Demons we say
are the things that possess us
Take over out body
we let them in
even if it's a small acceptance we accept the invitation and they take seed
they come inside us
Angels
we agree
are the ones who do not come inside us
they watch
from a distance
they do not manipulate
they are observors
they cry
they do not judge
they walk with us along our path
later that night kyron calls Matt a hipster faggot. He calls Ryan a hipster faggot. He tells Rio she has no friends. He tells Matt Ozrelic a hipster faggot.
Kyron has demons.
I marveled at our connection by the fire
Tyler tries to punch Kyron in the head three times to knock him out so they can leave. Kyron won't leave. He is still calling eeryone hipster faggots.
The other Tylerblocks the punches. Demons abound
I didn't know I needed to be saved until I was.
Oh Lord please don't let me be misunderstoof
Mixtape to this?
I once was lost and now I was found
on the recorders
Micah
Rinnah
I won't stick around the people who ask too many questions.
Ryan was explaining to Nico why he had to go. Telling Nico he was going to see me and that he wanted to see me because he loved me. Ryan says something can't really make sense if you can't explain it to a child.
Angels
Facepicking (illustration?) Jack Black cigarette light Sasquatch
Shaman teacher
KDZ9WH2
