100 Things.

1. Learn how to sing well (or at least decent)
2. Play the guitar on the street corner.
3. Drink wine with Adam Gnade on an old couch on the rooftop of a squatter house during a new moon and light bottle rockets.
4. Go to Burning Man.
5. Get a tattoo of "So it's Goes" on the birthday of Kurt Vonnegut with Heather and "This too shall pass.
6. Go on tour with Larry and His Flask in Canada and write a travel log/comic book during the experience.
7. Make my own dress (and have it be nice enough to wear all the time).  
8. Grow a vegetable and herb garden.  
9. Feel like I am truly at home
10. Live in a tree fort in the Redwood Forest.
11. Dance in a street performing dance team or be part of a mob dance.
12. Go on a road trip with my little brother.
13. Have a limousine pick up my grandma and whole family and take us to the Old Spaghetti Factory.
14. Own my own little craft shop.
15. Have my art hung in a gallery and have an artist reception with wine and cheese.
16. Work in my own studio.
17. Host an amazing themed party like Amy Sedaris does where no one brings a 12 pack.
18. Sing and play on the guitar, "Hall Filled Up Like a Lake" by Liz Pappademas to baby Dahlia.
19. Experience true peace of mind.
20. Go camping with my Dad.
21. Kick my addiction to salt.
22. Take yoga regularly.
23. Discover Northern Oregon on foot.
24. Speak French decently.
25. Go to Art School.
26. Visit Sarajevo, Bosnia.
27. Create something I am unquestionably proud of.
28. Do a project of some kind with Nicole Georges.
29. Finish the installation piece with Mike Chastain (if he would only contact me...)
30. Through a psychic, speak with Jay Rowan about how he is doing and what he needs all of us in the world to do to make the world as if he never left.
31. Interview JD Salinger.
32. Produce a radio documentary like they have on This American Life or Destination DIY.
33. Create a "peace center."
34. Be cool enough to be interviewed by Terry Gross.
35. Have my artwork hung at Townshend's Tea.
36. Hang out with Randi Hobbs.
37. Visit the South and stay for an extended time with a family.
38. Use Couchsurfers.net for travels.
39. Work on an organic farm for the World Wide Opportunities for Organic Farms.  
40. Be ok with crying at Disney films and showing my sensitivity.
41. Cure myself of peeing while running.
42. Always be flexible.
43. Go a year without gossiping.
44. Have a wedding.
45. Do something illegal and get arrested for something that benefit of animals or the enviroment.
46. Ride my bike across the country.
47. Roundhouse kick someone in the face.
48. Work at a record store.
49. Makeout with someone from Ireland.
50. Go to a strip club.
51. Be totally comfortable with sex.
52. Go to therapy.
53. Winter camping with Kevin.
54. Have coffee with Rider Strong.
55. Give away everything I own.
56. Tell someone off for a good reason.
57. Paint a mural.
58. Meet a stranger and for some reason or another end up at their house and fall asleep in their bed and be able to experience their life and fully indulge in it without shame or embarrassment.
59. Let someone take care of me for once and feel totally ok with that.
60. Grow old gracefully.
61. Have my place of living be exactly the way I want it (architecturally, colors, furniture, everything, perfect).
62. Know for sure if this world will be around in twenty years and based on that knowledge consider whether or not to have kids.
63. (groan) Go to school and get a degree in an art field.
64. Live in Portland.
65. Be in the instigator of an international zine exchange/swap regarding the daily activities of one certain week. Have everyone write theirs and send them abroad!
66. Have a mass shrine making for Dio De Los Muertos where a mob gets together donating a bunch of knick knack craft scraps and everyone makes a small shrine to honor someone who died. Then display the shrines in a public place with candles burning for every one.  
67. Create a real homepage on Dreamweaver (learn Dreamweaver).
68. Learn how to operate Illustrator.
69. Own a really nice camera and take millions of pictures with it.
70. Grow & make my own tea.
71. Do something with my sister.
72. Host an underground dinner (Episode 12).
73. Host a Sunday morning This American Life listening Breakfast party.
74. Live in a commune.
75. Make money doing what I like.
76. Work in a (real) café.
77. Grow long hair.
78. Be a part of a performance art piece. 
79. Visit Nevenka in Chile. 
80. Go on a train ride across the United States during Autumn. 
81. Brew my own beer. 
82. Be a part of a child's life from beginning until (my) end. 
83. Lay in a field by myself and watch a solar eclipse.
84. Contribute my skills to benefit the Fat Revolution and the Queer Movement. 
85. Never skydive or bungie jump.
86. Be a core volunteer at the Portland Zine Smposium and host a workshop.
87. Legally hyphenate my mothers maiden into my last name.
88. Write a children's book.
89. Do a tarot card or palm reading for someone famous.
90. Go to an opera again with my grandfather. 
91. Embellish furniture & clothing.
92. Join a knitting group.
93. Stay at a Bed & Breakfast in wine country.
94. Get a back rub by Gerard Butler.
95. Acquire breast implants (not really - I'm just running out of things to write).
96. Make my own FOUND magazine.
97. Write a cook book.
98. Arrange it so the Imperial March is played at my funeral.
99. Own a nice cat that I find at Humane Society or simply find and have it live a very long time just like Snowball.
100. Celebrate St. Patricks Day in Boston.

Dear Scott #18

Dear Scott,

Sorry I haven't written in awhile.

I was looking at colleges online the other day - looking at finanical aid options, comparing graphic art programs for different schools in Oregon, assessing costs of tuition, assessing professor skills and the seriousness of the programs.

I looked at Reed, Pacfic NW College of Art, Portland Community, COCC, Lewis & Clark.

I want to go to school because I want to know how to work Illustrator and have the ability to take my medium of illustration to a marketable level.

But I just can't, Scott and you know why?

I just can't imagine sitting on my ass for eight to ten fucking hours a day listening to someone talk, or in front of a computer or at a desk just reading. Sitting on my ass all day destroying my dream of doing something amazing and doing something so boring and being instituinalized and all that goddamn phony bullshit.

Of course I looked at the awesome Reed package concept where learning is something almost Montessorian but Christ Almighty, Scott! You have to read all day and write long papers and you have to be a goddamn genius to go to that school!

People like us - the man is always putting down. I mean, you! How can you sit on your ass for eight years learning how to be a doctor. It's bullshit!

I already ruin the creative process by forcing myself to give birth to my zine four times a year. All the editting and detail oriented this and that when I just want to experience my own life instead of write about it!

This zine takes so long and it is so hard to put together... I have to try and draw so well... nobody even cares.

Sorry - I don't like pitying myself. Pity Party.

Shabop Shalom --- Devendra Banhart

Kevin once got me out of rut by giving me a PBR