Dear Scott,Sorry I haven't written in awhile.
I was looking at colleges online the other day - looking at finanical aid options, comparing graphic art programs for different schools in Oregon, assessing costs of tuition, assessing professor skills and the seriousness of the programs.
I looked at Reed, Pacfic NW College of Art, Portland Community, COCC, Lewis & Clark.
I want to go to school because I want to know how to work Illustrator and have the ability to take my medium of illustration to a marketable level.
But I just can't, Scott and you know why?
I just can't imagine sitting on my ass for eight to ten fucking hours a day listening to someone talk, or in front of a computer or at a desk just reading. Sitting on my ass all day destroying my dream of doing something amazing and doing something so boring and being instituinalized and all that goddamn phony bullshit.
Of course I looked at the awesome Reed package concept where learning is something almost Montessorian but Christ Almighty, Scott! You have to read all day and write long papers and you have to be a goddamn genius to go to that school!
People like us - the man is always putting down. I mean, you! How can you sit on your ass for eight years learning how to be a doctor. It's bullshit!
I already ruin the creative process by forcing myself to give birth to my zine four times a year. All the editting and detail oriented this and that when I just want to experience my own life instead of write about it!
This zine takes so long and it is so hard to put together... I have to try and draw so well... nobody even cares.
Sorry - I don't like pitying myself. Pity Party.
Shabop Shalom --- Devendra Banhart
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