We are blowing about like magnificent seeds,
falling apart and drifting away maddengly in huffle puff gusts
It is not a path we are walking
It is a current
and we are flying on the bristles
our arms and legs
watermelon and almond butter
we are stripped away and we take flight
It's so funny
They are going to celebrate Banned book week by
writing controversial short stories
or something like that
I am going to write a story
about a young boy and his grandfather in a functioning monogamous relationship
without a hint of irony. It's going to be so fucking banned.
Let's play a game called
Find the Tooth
Racoons hold onto shiny objects
even at their peril
even to sacrifice their freedom
What is my shiny object?
Pills like baby teeth
I break them apart
I am weaning.
I can't do it
I tell Ryan
and he drops his bike, leans it against the truck
Walks towards me
and puts his hands on my shoulders
tells me
"Do what you want
I love will love you no matter what
I don't see you as a person on medication
Don't do anything you're not ready for"
So I'm breaking my pills in half.
Half of 20mg
Half of 10mg
5 mg a day.
I used to go without. Give myself a month.
Last winter, my eye twitched
and I swooned in headaches that felt like heat waves.
And I had just forogotten to take them
And I slept in
My routine was distrupted.
I did it all wrong.
we fall to save ourselves
we climb to save ourselves
we are always looking to be saved
Salvation
I start splitting my pills in half after Ryan and slept that night in the daisy field.
After we woke up in the hotsprings
After we woke up on the truck
After breakfast
After I dropped him in the forest by the creek
I collected mountain flowers
in a rusty tin can I found in a firepit
I find a dead pigeon by the side of the road and pick it up for Alicia Renner to pluck
The pigeons mate was nearby in mourning when I scooped it up
and I felt terrible as I drove away
I left Ryan in the woods and starting splitting my pills in half
I pick up a hitchhiker.
She's headed to the desert.
Born in Pheonix she was needing desert medicine. Living in Eugene she packed nothing, took the bus as far as she could to Rainbow and I picked her up next to the gas station.
There's another of us that's trying to be saved.
She's hanging out with a scuzzball who's doing heroin
Too frequently.
We are worried she is doing heroin.
Everyone is concerned.
But no one knows that facts
so we can't really do anything about it.
She just got out of a relatioship.
A long one, like 3 years.
The old one, the ex, is trying to save her
but he can't get close anymore
and he is confused
and worried
and feels powerless
and he is becoming beautiful
in a way no one ever saw coming.
And she is becoming sick.
And we want to save her
but
no one knows the facts
so we can't really do anything about it,
Kryon and I are talking about angels and demons
The boy who stabbed himself at the chest at the open mic at Strictly Organic was a friend of his
Kyrin explained he had been doing a lot of these hallucineginic drugs that had been coming through town
His friend would wake up from black outs having done ...
Demons we say
are the things that possess us
Take over out body
we let them in
even if it's a small acceptance we accept the invitation and they take seed
they come inside us
Angels
we agree
are the ones who do not come inside us
they watch
from a distance
they do not manipulate
they are observors
they cry
they do not judge
they walk with us along our path
later that night kyron calls Matt a hipster faggot. He calls Ryan a hipster faggot. He tells Rio she has no friends. He tells Matt Ozrelic a hipster faggot.
Kyron has demons.
I marveled at our connection by the fire
Tyler tries to punch Kyron in the head three times to knock him out so they can leave. Kyron won't leave. He is still calling eeryone hipster faggots.
The other Tylerblocks the punches. Demons abound
I didn't know I needed to be saved until I was.
Oh Lord please don't let me be misunderstoof
Mixtape to this?
I once was lost and now I was found
on the recorders
Micah
Rinnah
I won't stick around the people who ask too many questions.
Ryan was explaining to Nico why he had to go. Telling Nico he was going to see me and that he wanted to see me because he loved me. Ryan says something can't really make sense if you can't explain it to a child.
Angels
Facepicking (illustration?) Jack Black cigarette light Sasquatch
Shaman teacher
KDZ9WH2
Monday, July 15, 2013
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Protest Mixtape
Derek Jensen was in the woods, Kasey tells me, he was staying some days out there.
This what wasn't in the documentary, a seperate tale. Maybe they cut it out. Occupied Cascadia. They were asking Jensen about his experience as an acitivst. Talking about the land in the Nortwest. Loving the land, loving the trees and the forest and the plans to protect it.
"Embrace me in your arms, as if for the last time." -Stephen Harrod Buhner
The woods were keeping their distance from him and Derek felt like a stranger. Days went by, sleeping under the boughs where he felt like an outsider, like he didn't belong.
On the third day a man came and began tagging trees to be considered for removal. Logging.
Derek flared up and yelled at him. Told him to get the fuck out. Made him stop marking the trees. Made himself big as a douglas fir and the man left. Then Derek felt the shift and the trees welcomed him. He suddenly felt at home. He had earned his keep in the forest. In the world. In the universe.
They say the trees in Port Angeles swallowed the machines that were cutting them down. The earth opened up and feasted on metal bits. They left that place and it's crazy trees.
There have been fights lost. Few fights won.
This what wasn't in the documentary, a seperate tale. Maybe they cut it out. Occupied Cascadia. They were asking Jensen about his experience as an acitivst. Talking about the land in the Nortwest. Loving the land, loving the trees and the forest and the plans to protect it.
"Embrace me in your arms, as if for the last time." -Stephen Harrod Buhner
The woods were keeping their distance from him and Derek felt like a stranger. Days went by, sleeping under the boughs where he felt like an outsider, like he didn't belong.
On the third day a man came and began tagging trees to be considered for removal. Logging.
Derek flared up and yelled at him. Told him to get the fuck out. Made him stop marking the trees. Made himself big as a douglas fir and the man left. Then Derek felt the shift and the trees welcomed him. He suddenly felt at home. He had earned his keep in the forest. In the world. In the universe.
They say the trees in Port Angeles swallowed the machines that were cutting them down. The earth opened up and feasted on metal bits. They left that place and it's crazy trees.
There have been fights lost. Few fights won.
If They Come in the Night
Marge Piercy
Marge Piercy
Long ago on a night of danger and vigil
a friend said, why are you happy?
He explained (we lay together
on a cold hard floor) what prison
meant because he had done
time, and I talked of the death
of friends. Why are you happy
then, he asked, close to
angry.
a friend said, why are you happy?
He explained (we lay together
on a cold hard floor) what prison
meant because he had done
time, and I talked of the death
of friends. Why are you happy
then, he asked, close to
angry.
I said, I like my life. If I
have to give it back, if they
take it from me, let me
not feel I wasted any, let me
not feel I forgot to love anyone
I meant to love, that I forgot
to give what I held in my hands,
that I forgot to do some little
piece of the work that wanted
to come through.
have to give it back, if they
take it from me, let me
not feel I wasted any, let me
not feel I forgot to love anyone
I meant to love, that I forgot
to give what I held in my hands,
that I forgot to do some little
piece of the work that wanted
to come through.
Sun and moonshine, starshine,
the muted light off the waters
of the bay at night, the white
light of the fog stealing in,
the first spears of morning
touching a face
I love. We all lose
everything. We lose
ourselves. We are lost.
the muted light off the waters
of the bay at night, the white
light of the fog stealing in,
the first spears of morning
touching a face
I love. We all lose
everything. We lose
ourselves. We are lost.
Only what we manage to do
lasts, what love sculpts from us;
but what I count, my rubies, my
children, are those moments
wide open when I know clearly
who I am, who you are, what we
do, a marigold, an oakleaf, a meteor,
with all my senses hungry and filled
at once like a pitcher with light.
lasts, what love sculpts from us;
but what I count, my rubies, my
children, are those moments
wide open when I know clearly
who I am, who you are, what we
do, a marigold, an oakleaf, a meteor,
with all my senses hungry and filled
at once like a pitcher with light.
Kevin is on a drunk rant again, but this time it's different.
On Friday's folks stand in front of the bank, on the busy intersection heading into downtown on Wall and Greenwood. They've been here since I've been in High School. Since 2003 when the war in Iraq started. I was involved then, making my mom drive me to peace walks. Lighting candles. Music being played. Redemption song. It was a small movement and has remained small, flaring up on occasion. There are usually the same folks, older. The diligent ones. The mainstays. The bedrocks.
Kevin walked by them the other day and he told them what they were doing was useless. Protesting was useless. Standing there, wasting their time, he grumbles to me.
I'm listening incredulously. It's hard to find the words to say.
Of course. They are small. They are the small axe. They hold their signs, "PEACE" "NO WAR"
Simple things
Make your voice loud.
Do you remember the riots in Gothenburg
in the summer of two thousand and one
Boy, we sure had fun
I held your hand so proud
it was shaking from what I learned was doubt
in the warm summer sun
And I saw my face on a screen
they filmed us from a helicopter
The most frightened face I've seen
red in the face like a lobster
Do you remember the riots in Gothenburg
in the summer of two thousand and one
Boy, we sure had fun
Down the avenue
the black black crew
were throwing rocks at the cops stand
everyhing stopped
They started a bonfire
a couple of days prior
I wanted to do that too
burn down the avenue
And I saw my face on a screen
they filmed us from a helicopter
The most frightened face I've seen
red in the face like a lobster
And your hands slipped out of mine
I couldn't see no love in your eye
and I knew what I had to do
burn the avenue
And I'm not a political fighter
and I don't even have a cigarette lighter
But I wanna see that fire
I just wanna see that fire
I just wanted to see that fire
Burn down the avenue
Do you remember the riots in Gothenburg
in the summer of two thousand and one
Boy, we sure had fun
in the summer of two thousand and one
Boy, we sure had fun
I held your hand so proud
it was shaking from what I learned was doubt
in the warm summer sun
And I saw my face on a screen
they filmed us from a helicopter
The most frightened face I've seen
red in the face like a lobster
Do you remember the riots in Gothenburg
in the summer of two thousand and one
Boy, we sure had fun
Down the avenue
the black black crew
were throwing rocks at the cops stand
everyhing stopped
They started a bonfire
a couple of days prior
I wanted to do that too
burn down the avenue
And I saw my face on a screen
they filmed us from a helicopter
The most frightened face I've seen
red in the face like a lobster
And your hands slipped out of mine
I couldn't see no love in your eye
and I knew what I had to do
burn the avenue
And I'm not a political fighter
and I don't even have a cigarette lighter
But I wanna see that fire
I just wanna see that fire
I just wanted to see that fire
Burn down the avenue
Do you remember the riots in Gothenburg
in the summer of two thousand and one
Boy, we sure had fun
There was this rant a boy posted on his facebook about the apathy of his peers, this generation, our generation. "Who are your friends?" I asked. Who did young man surround himself with? Everyday my friends were coming out of the closet, organizing events, writing radical zines and cookbooks, growing gardens, going into the woods and learning the old ways and passing them on to each others children.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
pom
Jake took me to the nettle patch today.
My coat hold only one button, the one at the top
My coat flapped open
like cape
as we rode our bikes along the river
as fast as we could
I can't tell you where the nettle is
I can tell you where the wolf berries are
in the alley near my house
There should be enough again
this summer
for you and me
if the bees are busy
and the neighbors don't prune them away
But the nettle is for Jake to share.
Riding,
I tell Jake I figured something out
Gazing at Rinnah last night
I got shy and looked away
and remembered
when it was
that when you kiss someone
you stop looking away
you feel like you're inside that person
and they are inside of you
The pact.
Jake tells me I have women medicine
and that I use my powers to help others
He says the nettle is male and female and mate every year
He says the root of the nettle feels masculine
He says the warriors would consume the nettle to strengthen their blood
We look around the brush.
There is a styrofoam container
some crushed Olympia cans
a bottle of Old German
which I put in my backpack
Jake finds the nettle
and we clear away a place in the thicket
to crouch down.
The nettle is going crazy in the valley
Not here
So much.
The tulips are blooming in the valley
The daffodils in my yard would bloom
on the week of my birthday
First week of March
I tell him every year I wish the winter
to be so treacherous
and miserable
I hope everything breaks and I cry everyday
Because when the summer comes it feels like ecstasy
It is why I bear the loneliness
And hold onto it sometimes
Jake says, when you touch the nettle it stings
and leaves welts
He says the Chinese use nettle in medicine
They lash the backs of elders with arthritis
and it relieves their joints
We touch the nettle to acupuncture points on our wrists
Within seconds the skin flares up
and stings
Maybe it's to make us stronger
Maybe it's to remind ourselves that pain is healing.
He picks a nettle for himself
He is going to use it in the sushi tonight for the family
He picks a nettle for me
He says I can make it into a tea
My coat hold only one button, the one at the top
My coat flapped open
like cape
as we rode our bikes along the river
as fast as we could
I can't tell you where the nettle is
I can tell you where the wolf berries are
in the alley near my house
There should be enough again
this summer
for you and me
if the bees are busy
and the neighbors don't prune them away
But the nettle is for Jake to share.
Riding,
I tell Jake I figured something out
Gazing at Rinnah last night
I got shy and looked away
and remembered
when it was
that when you kiss someone
you stop looking away
you feel like you're inside that person
and they are inside of you
The pact.
Jake tells me I have women medicine
and that I use my powers to help others
He says the nettle is male and female and mate every year
He says the root of the nettle feels masculine
He says the warriors would consume the nettle to strengthen their blood
We look around the brush.
There is a styrofoam container
some crushed Olympia cans
a bottle of Old German
which I put in my backpack
Jake finds the nettle
and we clear away a place in the thicket
to crouch down.
The nettle is going crazy in the valley
Not here
So much.
The tulips are blooming in the valley
The daffodils in my yard would bloom
on the week of my birthday
First week of March
I tell him every year I wish the winter
to be so treacherous
and miserable
I hope everything breaks and I cry everyday
Because when the summer comes it feels like ecstasy
It is why I bear the loneliness
And hold onto it sometimes
Jake says, when you touch the nettle it stings
and leaves welts
He says the Chinese use nettle in medicine
They lash the backs of elders with arthritis
and it relieves their joints
We touch the nettle to acupuncture points on our wrists
Within seconds the skin flares up
and stings
Maybe it's to make us stronger
Maybe it's to remind ourselves that pain is healing.
He picks a nettle for himself
He is going to use it in the sushi tonight for the family
He picks a nettle for me
He says I can make it into a tea
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Bike crash comic
Bike, car
bike crash on something "wipe-out"
Car pulls over
"Hey!"
Right when you fell I was listening to .... and it said, "wipe out"
No way bra!
Way!
Hahahahah
Want a ride to the hospital?
Yeah, that'd be great!
Look at that fucking bone..
bike crash on something "wipe-out"
Car pulls over
"Hey!"
Right when you fell I was listening to .... and it said, "wipe out"
No way bra!
Way!
Hahahahah
Want a ride to the hospital?
Yeah, that'd be great!
Look at that fucking bone..
Sunday, March 10, 2013
CSA
22135 Erickson Road, out East
CSA program through MountainStar
2013 CSA Season
June 5th through September 25th + November 17th = 18 weeks
The first day of pick up will be Tuesday, June at the farm or Wednesday, June 6th at our arranged drop point(s), and every Wednesday thereafter. The last pick up day for summer will be September 26th. There will be one last pick up day on Wednesday, November 17th, with some fall goodies such as potatoes, onions, garlic, winter squash and cooking pumpkins just in time for the holidays. If the farm has produce available before June 6, we will send out an email with what is available and how you can purchase the produce. The same will happen in October until our season is done.
Weekly pick
Split as a group with staff
Costco prices for vegetables - research more
Strawberries : 19.96
Pepper: $18
Mango: $18
Watermelon: $13.50
feed 4-6 people week $40
$720 season
The CSA would take care of two days of vegetable consumption.
Majority of the products will be fresh greens
Fruit?
eggs
spinach
kale
chicken
lettuce
romaine
tomatoes
squash
cabbage
beets
Dishes that can include a variety of vegetables
Dumplings
Quiches
Pasta sauces (sauteed dishes that are over pasta)
Stir-fry
I often use the frozen "mixed vegetables" in a variety of ways.
Children will be having fresh salads
Acting by April 1st will give a 5% discount
Questions needing addressed
What is the USDA feel about compensating for CSA?
Will there be enough food?
Is it worth the price?
Is it comparable to Costco?
Will it be annoying to have similar vegetables every time?
Also, using Tim & Jen's garden. Is it childcare nutrition approved? How to create a relationship with local growers...
Friday, March 8, 2013
joel2
Joel asked me out of the blue how periods work.
Joel is famous for asking girls or just internally assuming when they are emotional that they are on their periods. He's not being rude, he really doesn't understand ladies when they have emotions.
Joel is famous for asking girls or just internally assuming when they are emotional that they are on their periods. He's not being rude, he really doesn't understand ladies when they have emotions.
on the phone with hanna
I was waiting all night for you to call.
Developing a relationship with my grandma after she's dead. Because there's no such thing.
Perl dream interpretation
ship slippery slide loses feet loses shipness becomes hot metal against cold ice and it sits this very tip of athe peak of the moutain its been standing for some time conteplating taking its herbs and drinking irs contemplating what not to miss then it slowly goes over this little peak on the cold cold ice with lightening flashed no one sees the ligth sines and it strrams throighout the whole city, the city shits down and the city shts down for 22 hours shts down shuts does, does not move, does nto speak eerytjing is frozen except for this moement that is haooening over this peak and this thing is coing for you. this thing is coming for you. this thing is coming for something that is alive. everything is frozen the thing that it foing towards is virating towards that thing then they link
they together and that whens life starts again
James says there are a lot of constellation in Pisces and to not be so hard on myself.
you are like interpreting a dream
we are mirrors of each other both representing the sscred shrine
she took sdvatage of a migrating flock of birds
visits people in the night
Developing a relationship with my grandma after she's dead. Because there's no such thing.
Perl dream interpretation
ship slippery slide loses feet loses shipness becomes hot metal against cold ice and it sits this very tip of athe peak of the moutain its been standing for some time conteplating taking its herbs and drinking irs contemplating what not to miss then it slowly goes over this little peak on the cold cold ice with lightening flashed no one sees the ligth sines and it strrams throighout the whole city, the city shits down and the city shts down for 22 hours shts down shuts does, does not move, does nto speak eerytjing is frozen except for this moement that is haooening over this peak and this thing is coing for you. this thing is coming for you. this thing is coming for something that is alive. everything is frozen the thing that it foing towards is virating towards that thing then they link
they together and that whens life starts again
James says there are a lot of constellation in Pisces and to not be so hard on myself.
you are like interpreting a dream
we are mirrors of each other both representing the sscred shrine
she took sdvatage of a migrating flock of birds
visits people in the night
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