Lack of Entertainment Amenities at the Carman Family Residence

Sure I like coming home. I like that there is food. There is Grocery Outlet wine and domestic brews. There is a gas fireplace, bone dry towels (a true luxury in mold ridden drafty apartments), exercise equipment, and my sister always has good lime tortilla chips. But there is one thing missing, always missing, and sometimes it makes me think twice about coming over.
In my house there are always books and zines in my bathroom. This is not because I take a long time in the bathroom; I eat lots of fiberous foods as well as fruits. But when I step into the bathroom and sit down, I am suddenly overwhelmed with boredom unmatched by anywhere on the entire planet. I mean, when you go for a walk you don't need a magazine, or when you sit down to look at the cars passing by the window you don't need a magazine but for some reason, whenever you sit on the toilet and spend you 20-30 second on the toilet the boredom is so paralyzing.
And no one in the Carman family residence (except Gary in his apartment with) accomadates the serious need for magazines in bathrooms.
For several reasons every bathroom in the world needs reading bits:

• Boredom often turns into depression
• RBBD (Restless Boredom Bowel Disorder) not being able to shit comfortably without reading material, rushing the shit, which leads to hemmroids