Mom and Dad

We're in the Badlands, the bottoms of our pants dusty with the dry road we've kicked up. I tell me Mom, "There was this time, when I was a kid, and I went to church by myself and the priest started talking about why you should dress up when you go to church. And I told her how I've been fantasizing a scenario where I go up, as a little kid, while the priest is talking and say, 'GOD DOESN'T CARE WHAT WE LOOK LIKE!' And then I hope I get kicked out and I'll go out screaming, 'LOOK GOD! THEY ARE KICKING ME OUT!'" And Mom says, something she has been saying with more frequency, "this makes me feel bad I might've not have been a good parent."

And I tell her, "hell no, Mom. God thinks you've done an amazing job."

Dad is asking me when I last prayed and I told him I prayed yesterday. I caught Clyde, my favorite finch, the one with the broken leg and I held him in my hands until he stopped vibrating. Finches seem to vibrate when they are scared. It is faster than shaking, which is why I call it vibrating. When Clyde stopped vibrating I opened my hands and he stayed there and we looked in each others eyes for a long while and I was breathing really deep and he stayed calm too. Dad asked me if I started it off, "Dear Heavenly Father," and I said, "Of course not." And he asked what I was saying to God and I told Dad I didn't say anything, I just became very quiet inside, and very connected to the universe and into my body. It was a sacred moment. 

Dad told me this really great moment Jesus did when he forgave everyones sins and I told him a really great moment I thought Jesus did was turn over all the tables in the temple when those people opened a marketplace. 

Dad asked me why people dressed weird and why they have piercings and tattoos when it means they can't good jobs and narrow their opportunities in the world. I told him it's because they don't want to have dull jobs. And he said, but what if someone wants to be a scientist and I said, so let them be a scientist. And then I told him when you have tattoos and piercings it kind of keeps you away from having square jobs. 

I refrain from pointing at any one reason for things. I refrain from one definition or interpretation. But sometimes I think, it's very possible, children were put on this earth to challenge their parents and parents were put on this earth to challenge their children.