Wednesday 14th (day 11)

In a dream Larry and His Flask was addicted to meth and I was the samrui protector of the executive director at my work who people were trying to assassninate.
Cherie, one of the people I work with, has the swine flu. She is the closest person I know with swine flu.
Swine flu makes a peace sign, points to its eyes then turns its hoof and points at me, "I'm coming for you."
A quilt conference had found itself into the building I work at, "I'm going to crash it," Fran told me.
On the radio,"Think Outloud" was talking about people who decide to not have kids. Held a baby for longer than I've ever held a baby and thought about my decisions.
4:00pm Dylan working at RMH.
Sent off some more pen-pal letters through swap bot. 5 personalized homemade envelopes a mini zine in each. In the next week I will get 5 less than incredible mini-zines but it will be something to look forward to.
Picked up day-olds at Nancy P's for work then went to my other job for an hour where I work part-time as a receptionist.
Text conversation with Dall.
5:37pm Had a dream you and your bandmates were addicted to meth. What have you been up to?
5:40pm  I had a dream last night my mom cu my beard off with scissors. What have YOU been up to?
6:21pm nothing for the past few days. Work ... trying to uncover the universal real.
7:10pm I've been trying to figure out my personal real. Sometimes its tough to figure.
When I got home I told Kevin,
"I need to be alone right now. I need you to pretend you are not here."
But he was. Stirring julienned onions for a marinara sauce, "mind if I use you wine?"
I lit my Virgin to Guadalupe candle, burned incense, took a bath, read Sark, drank wine, made tea, and kept refilling the tub with hot water as it cooled off praying with every splash the way I was taught in Ilse Content a perzine from Olympia I got on trade. 
Something is wrong. My homelife feels broken. I feel broken.
Out of the bath I finally felt pure. A spider I had whipped off the shower curtain broke it's leg so I took it outside to live in the laundry room to heal. Jonathen was outside walking by and I explained the situation.
"Have you been crying?" heasked.
I'm just drunk. But I found humility.
Kevin left and I tried to watch a Peter Shaffer film adapted Amadeus before the tracking fucked up and then I just let sleep take me away.